Diverse Tactics (part 2), Less Relaxation, and How to Feel Confident

1. Less Relaxation, More Self-Regulation

“Many people believe that biofeedback is a way to learn to relax. While it is true that you can learn to relax using biofeedback, relaxation is not the main goal. The main goal is self-regulation, which means being able to activate your nervous system most optimally for action and being able to relax and recover after the action is complete.”

- Inna Khazan, Ph.D.

Biofeedback and Mindfulness in Everyday Life

The same is true for breathing without biofeedback. Of course, there are methods for relaxing (those are some of my favorites).

But, we’re ultimately learning to regulate our nervous systems so they work optimally for action, for real life. Then, we relax and recover afterward : )

2. “Rule 1: The actions of confidence come first; the feelings of confidence come later.”

“This is a key point. If we want to do anything with confidence—speak, paint, make love, play tennis, or socialize—then we have to do the work. We have to practice the necessary skills over and over, until they come naturally. If we don’t have adequate skills to do the things we want to do, we can’t expect to feel confident.”

- Dr. Russ Harris, The Confidence Gap

And if we want to feel confident we can breathe to self-regulate in any situation, we have to practice these skills over and over. Until they come naturally.

We could say: The action of breathing comes first; the good feelings and self-regulation come later.

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P.S. We can also apply this concept to being consistent. There are plenty of days when I don’t feel like doing my breathing practice (yes, even The Breathing Diabetic has days where he doesn’t want to breathe 😂). But, I always just start. The action comes first; the motivation comes later.

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